it's not all rainbows, flowers and great sex

"I gave my husband permission to sleep with other women - as I have lost my sex drive. I have lost the desire and I find myself making excuses from around 6pm. As soon as he comes home, I panic and start saying, that I'm so tired even though it is embarrassing to say this but I said to him you can go with someone else if you want. I want to make him happy. He'll kill me for saying this... Am I the only one?"

An open relationship is one in which two people in an ongoing relationship aren’t exclusive with one another. In other words, both parties in the relationship are openly allowed and able to have other sexual and/or romantic partners.

Being in an open relationship is a terrific option for people who don’t believe in monogamy, have failed at it in the past, and/or simply don’t want to be monogamous, yet still want to have a meaningful and long-lasting connection with a significant other. By choosing to have an-open relationship, they’re able to combine the best of both worlds.

Jealousy is the one that gets the most attention, but surprise feelings can take all kinds of shapes: anger, fear, sadness, envy, inadequacy. Being in an open relationship means confronting the limits of your relationships, and it can be all too easy to start comparing yourself to someone else in your lover’s life.

When we get close to people, we make ourselves vulnerable to hurt and entangle our own needs to some extent with other people’s. That said, some of these problems arise in particular ways that are unique to polyamory, and it’s worth paying attention to that.